refugee raft I ride in life

so.  This week, I feel like I have definitely realized that I cannot prolong thinking about the future any longer.  I want the future to come, the house, the job, the kids( yes, kids. I know. little Me's running around and knowing me, I will go crazy at some point), the love, the everything...but right now, I have no plan whatsoever to get there.  I feel helpless, and when I feel helpless, I either get more driven, or I think about all the mistakes I have made up to this point to feel this helpless.  The first choice of course is the one that I usually want to come out, but the second one, where I hyper-analyze my life, is the one that usually does.  I looked at changing majors, I looked at me double majoring, I looked at the semester I went stupid ( or not as good as I am and had to take classes again...), I looked at all that stuff that has lead me to the stupid situation I am in now with school.  

Then, looking at my life, I always seem to pause on all the fun I had, and how many people I came in contact with, either in a job, at parties, or just everything in between.  I have realized that I think I knew about 1/4 of the population of FSU, and of that 1/4, I probably maintained a friendship with 1/16, and then of that "friendship", I probably was really good friends with 1/100, an.. yeah. it gets smaller from there, simply emphasizing my point that I am a hard person to really get to know, and for those of you ( you know who you are) who got to that point, I applaud you.  

This year is also my 5 year HS reunion, which is supposed to take place in Vegas on July 4th??? I am not sure of the exact date, but it is soo crazy to think that 5 years ago, I thought "damn, I can take over the fucking world if I wanted to.. I am out of high school!".  Now all I want to do is go back and feel the stress and then camaraderie that I had with my school mates. I miss Ryan and his crazy outings, I miss Mirinissa and our talks and walks and living at the BX, I miss senior year, with my sexy/crazy boys in the car ( purple beast), but mostly I miss knowing that everyone I knew was in the same boat, and that we were all basically going to get through it because not graduating high school.. not happening.  I guess it just makes me thing of the life stages that everyone is now in, weather its grad school, or ministry, or having babies, or whatever job that they have, and realizing that we aren't in the same boat anymore.

In other news, I was looking at Facebook today, and I came across this article.

This just is crazy stupid high of a score. I really didn't know you could GET a score like that. Stupid.   Also in pop culture, I think this movie is very applicable to what I am talking about.

songs about...amazing

Oren Lavie - Her morning elegance from Maria Blinkova on Vimeo.

Drunk and then...

Last night, I got drunk. Not in the bad way where you don't remember anything and you wake up with a guy you don't know in a place you don't know realizing you have done something you definitely know. No. This was the drunk where I get home, feel nauseated, and then wake up and wishing my body was not in the pain it was, and realize that some of this pain, is caused by my new sneak attack menstrual cycle, and the other half of the pain is caused by my head exploding because of dehydration.

After a nice toast and water combo, I felt way better, and decided the next thing I needed was a chai latte at Red Eye Coffee. :) Drank that up in about 4 seconds. I needed that extra shot of caffeine.

Joe and I then took off in his car for an adventure of the driving sorts, because that's how we roll ( pun intended), and went to follow the newly finished Orange ave. road to wherever it took us. Amazingly, it took us to the biggest houses either one of us has ever seen in the Southwood subdivision. We are talking possibly 6 bedroom monsters. Maybe more. We thought that there should have been a notice saying watch out for rich people.

After thoroughly getting lost ( and having fun doing just that), we found some high schools, and I found my nausiated state getting more and more of a constant. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, we were in front of Beef o' Bradys.

Obviously, a piece of toast and water might be good for the common prisoner, but apparently my belly wants more than that after a night of drinking, and so we ate some amazing sandwiches, and I downed about a gallon of water.

Now, this is where we come in contact with possibly the most bad-ass sport known to colleges, Lacrosse. Today just happens to be the Lacrosse championships, Cornell Vs. Syracuse. Cornell hasn't won any sports title since 1977. Syracuse has won 10 straight titles in Lacrosse. BEST GAME EVER. It was my first time really getting into a sport to yell at it, and scream when people missed shots, and I found out that people can run over other players ( literally RUN OVER), and whack other players with sticks in the face, watch the video if you don't believe me...
Crazy day, thank god for holidays.

Washings and cleanings

Well, as today is just a lazy day number 2 on my 3 day weekend, this is also day 2 on my "doing things I should have been doing a lot lately and am too lazy/entertained by other things to be doing them". This list of things which include favorites like scrubbing the bathroom, also includes laundry. Ugh. Laundry.

Laundry usually isn't something that people who aren't super poor and live in place that has easy access to a machine would whine about, but since I am super poor, and I don't live within walking distance to any Laundromat facility, it is an arduous duty of scouring parking spots and hunting loose change in the sofa to try to get the pants that now stand up on its own clean at last.

Luckily, I have 3 days to do a month’s worth of laundry, and so the task is not as daunting nor excruciatingly boring provided you bring the right book ( mine is The Diviners, which is a 567 episodic mind explosion in an not so good way, but definitely makes time pass) Today was dark bottoms and some towels. Yesterday was light bottoms and underwear, tomorrow are tops; god I am so bad at laundry.

I like going to this cute place called the Laundry Basket, which attracted me not only for its cute title and its relative proximity to TCBY and an interesting hair salon which the owners husband is always outside fixing motorbikes, but also for the fact that it is small, out of the way, and generally cheap and quiet. I like places like this, because the people who go to them are always the offbeat people who are either;

The owners friends and long time customers,
Poor people who live behind the store and need to walk somewhere to wash their 3 shirts and 4 pants,
Offbeat people looking for some tranquility during a mundane task.

Watching the people interact and do laundry, most of who were in their Sunday church clothing was definitely something to do when trying to get through my epic novel.

Since I did so well at the chores needing to be done, I thought, why not, go to Old Navy, treat yourself to some new summer shirts since all of my summer shirts were eaten by my former cat. I get in the store, and realize that there are retarded good sales ( we are talking tanktops for 5 dollars in a plethora of colors, not just neon yellow and indiscript color brown/green. ) So I bought a few, and came home, to realize, that I just bought new clothes, that have to be cleaned.
Bummer.